Donor’s stories

Svetlana

Briefly about myself:

I’m 30 years old. I’m married. I have two sons. I gave birth to Andrey, my first child, when I was 18. I have obtained an education of a dress-maker by training. I participated in donation for three times.

Ten years ago I didn’t think what it meant for a woman not to have a possibility to become a mother. My close friend Elena told me about her personal tragedy, for five years she has been treating infertility in vain. I was her best friend and all these years I knew nothing about her suffering from “female weakness”. The day she shared her problem we cried all night long. But tears can't help in sorrow. After I spent several days surfing the Internet and studying all possible methods of infertility treatment, I understood that I could help her. We came together to a clinic and I became an oocyte donor for my friend. I was really worried but everything went well and soon my friend became mother of two lovely girls: Katia and Yulia. Now they are three years old and I’m their godmother.

In a year I had suddenly realized that I had to help one more time. I found an agency in the Internet, filled the questionnaire and received an invitation to come for an interview and examination. I hadn’t waited for long, as I was chosen by a couple from Sweden. Everything was well and a girl was born. I even felt a bit jealous because I have only boys. My last donation was anonymous and I don’t know whom I have helped. But I’m not upset at all. I feel happy because I can give people the most precious gift in the world – a child. And it is the most important thing for me.

Olha

Briefly about myself:

I’m 27 years old. I am raising a son and a daughter by myself. I’m a chemist by education. I have already been a donor for three times.

My first experience of donation had to be anonymous as I thought then. However during the ovarian stimulation I got to know from the agency employees that Intended Mother wanted to get acquainted with me. First I was afraid but then I tried to put myself in her place. Would I like to get acquainted with the woman whom my future child will resemble? We started to send emails to each other and I really liked her family. During pregnancy Intended Mother sent me photos of ultrasonic scanning – she wanted to share her happiness with me. Soon I got to know that a healthy boy was born and they were happy, because they wanted exactly the boy. In my experience of donation it was the only time when I contacted the family, which I helped, so closely. Usually people try to avoid contacts with donors in such cases. A girl was born after my second egg retrieval and twins after the last one.

Now once again I’m getting ready for donation – I'm undergoing medical tests and taking medication. Recently my “first couple” has sent me a picture of their son, he is almost 3 years old now. At these moments I understand that I will keep helping those who are in need until my health permits.

Elena

Briefly about myself:

I’m 27 years old. I am raising my four-year old son. I’m a pedagogue. I was a donor for 2 times and once I was a Surrogate.

Everything has started 3 years ago. In fact it was my acquaintance who convinced me to become a donor. In our small town she over persuaded a lot of people in the issue of reproductive medicine. Frankly speaking I was skeptical and even suspicious. It is so unnatural: all these children from in vitro, donors, and surrogates. I discussed it with my ex-husband, he even ashamed me. A few months later I watched a TV-programme about the problems of infertile couples and it impressed me. I understood that noone is in position to blame anyone. Every childless family has its own tragedy, but there is a chance to help them. People come from different countries and especially from those where such treatment is forbidden.

I called my acquaintance and she gave the phone number of the agency. After phone conversation with the agency representative, I assured myself one more time that my decision is right. I came to the agency, they paid all my travel expenses, I answered their questions about my health state, pregnancy and labor, hereditary diseases, etc. The questionnaire was very detailed. Everything was clear and in order: tests, questions about family, children, criminal background. It was necessary to bring as many of my personal pictures as possible. Then there were medical examinations in a clinic and an interview with a psychologist. After I had passed everything, I signed an agreement. I liked the provision that the agency takes the responsibility “to protect my rights and act in my interests”. Everything was civilized and contradicted one newspaper, which had written that anybody is responsible for anything. In the majority of cases donation is anonymous and nobody will post my picture on the website.

Soon they called me and said that a foreign couple had chosen me for donation. Intended Mother was Scandinavian, she was looking for a blonde for a long time because she wanted her future child to resemble her. Of course I was very pleased, that the couple liked me and was looking forward to begin the programme.

Then I didn’t know that besides stimulation, Intended Mother and I had to synchronize our cycles. As the difference was considerable, we needed the whole month for synchronization. Egg retrieval was painless and I felt nothing. I had no complications after this procedure.

Helping giving birth to a child is unforgettable feeling which is so difficult to describe without making it banal or sentimental. In a word it is possible to understand only if you experience it. I’m proud that I have helped to give birth to two wonderful babies and this feeling warms me more then any compensation.

Quite recently before the new programme of donation I was called from the agency. They asked me to meet with Intended Parents, who had chosen me. I agreed. The couple was from Israel and they were very kind people. Goldi resembled my mother very much. She is a pedagogue, just like my mother and I. She had everything to become a good mother except female reproductive health and I was ready to help her.

I’m not ashamed of being an oocyte donor, I’m even proud of it. Sure, financial compensation plays an important role, but the procedure of donation is risky, so everything is fair. My main purpose is to give people help and hope.

Tatiana

Briefly about myself:

I’m 28 years old. I’m raising my son, he is 6 years old. I’m a nurse by education. I was an oocyte donor for three times.

You may ask me: What do you feel, when you know that there is a child genetically related to you somewhere in the world? I can tell you, that this makes me happier, because for these couples these children are the most desired and precious in the whole world. And it was me who helped them.

I consider that an oocyte donation is an anonymous procedure. Although some couples want to meet me, I try to avoid such situations because I don’t want to become attached to people. The only thing I do is that I always ask employees of the agency to tell me about the result.

With my example I would like to motivate healthy young women to help childless couple. You will immediately feel that you can make this world better.