I am a surrogate mother

Irina

Briefly about myself:

I’m a 32 year-old married woman with two children: a girl (8 years) and a boy (5 years). I’m a music teacher by training. One year ago I became a Surrogate (I delivered twins). Once I was an oocyte donor.

Frankly speaking for the first time I became an oocyte donor because of my hard financial situation. My mother was seriously ill and we needed money for her surgery. At that time I had just divorced and raised my first child alone. My cousin told me about the possibility to participate in the donation programme. She knew a lot about donation, because she had treated her infertility. She told me where I could appeal for. It was a big clinic in Kharkiv and a special agency engaged in processing of all documents for different programmes.

At that time I thought that such situation has an element of mutual help – I help couple and they help me. My first experience was with a woman who suffered dysfunction of ovary. I know little about medicine, but I was explained that her organism couldn’t produce egg cells.

After a successful artificial fertilization that woman got pregnant and delivered a girl. I was very happy for her, because it was I who helped her to become a mother. Money became insignificant, although they helped me very much. Everything settled down and I didn’t think more about the possibility to become a donor again. I even thought that my mother survived and her surgery was successful, because I had helped to conceive a new life.

After 2 years I got married for a second time and moved to my husband’s place in the region of Kyiv. One day, while surfing the Internet I accidently saw an advertisement about surrogate matching. With curiosity I opened the web page of an agency. There I read terms, watched news, informative materials about infertility treatment and at some point I once again experienced this “warm” feeling of being a mother. On the site I automatically filled their questionnaire and… then clicked "Submit". Weekends passed and I had almost forgotten about my impulse of becoming a surrogate mother. Suddenly I received a letter on my email. It said that my phone number, written in the questionnaire, wasn’t responding. I immediately called back and visited the agency. I was very inspired and excited.

I liked everything in the agency: new office, business relations, responsible attitude. The company is new but works according to western standards. Everything is understandable and clear: you undergo screening (check up), sign an agreement, and after that you are included to the Surrogate database. When the agency found out, that I am married, they asked me to agree everything with my husband. At that moment for the first time I was afraid because husband knew nothing about my intentions. What attitude could he have? He could want another child for us. To my surprise he supported me. But, frankly speaking, he was afraid that parents could refuse from a child and an orphanage is not the right place for children. Within two days I underwent all necessary examinations and tests and signed an agreement with the agency. In a month I was called for an interview with the Intended Parents. Unfortunately I wasn’t chosen. I was very upset, but I understood that it was their right. For two months I haven't had any calls. I even became calmer. Suddenly on Friday evening I received a phone call from the agency. I was asked to come to the office on Saturday morning. I was hopeless but it was my day! The spouses Oleh and Zhanna arrived from Moscow. I was the second woman they talked with so far. We were talking for a long time, they asked me questions about my children. They were so positive and open that we got into contact very quickly. In a month I started the programme. Transfer was successful and I got pregnant with twins. For me it was very emotional. We kept greeting each other. In five months I grew very stout. I didn’t expect it, because previously I didn’t gain much weight. But I lived in peace and harmony. They rented me an apartment in Kyiv. Oleh’s mother came to live with me. She helped me with cooking and cleaning up the place. She treated me as her daughter-in-law and even looked after my younger son (I took him with me).

I delivered with c-section. My couple paid for delivery in a prestigious private maternity hospital, although it wasn’t prearranged. Oleh and Zhanna carrived 3 weeks prior to the birth. They were very supportive all the time. So we gave birth to a couple of wonderful boys. It was our mutual victory. Girls, you can not even imagine what means to be a Surrogate. It means to be Faith, Hope and Charity at the same time!