Being A Surrogate Mother Is A Blessing

11.02.2011

Jayne Frankland, from near Ross on Wye, is about to become a surrogate mother for the third time.

Remarkably, she believed at one time she would never become pregnant herself, and had her first daughter through a surrogate mother.

Four pregnancies later she decided to help other childless couples, the way she herself had been helped.

She keeps in close contact with the couples she has born children for, and her own daughter's surrogate mother.

No adoption option

Jayne's story is all the more unusual because she initially believed she would never be able to become pregnant.

After unsuccessfully trying for a baby for some years, Jayne first tried the usual course of adoption:

"We did think about adoption, and spent three years trying to adopt, but we had to abandon that because my Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer and they wouldn't proceed with our application because of that.

"I really wanted to adopt - I didn't see the point of surrogacy when there are children ready and waiting to be adopted - but it's not so easy to adopt."

When she finally decided to turn to surrogacy, she was determined that the person who carried the baby would remain part of her family's life:

"You really have to wait for someone to choose you, it's not the other way around.

"There's not that many people willing to surrogate, so that you can't chose hair colour, eye colour or anything like that, you really have to wait to be chosen.

"It's very much about friendship - I only wanted to be helped by someone that I would have a life-long friendship with."

One of her own daughters suggested Jayne become a surrogate mother
After 13 years of believing herself to be infertile, Jayne unexpectedly found herself to be pregnant, and has gone on to give birth to four children of her own:

"It was when our third child was born that our daughter born by surrogacy kept saying to me 'Now your tummy is mended Mummy, why don't you help another lady have a baby?'

"So I thought about it, and when I had my fourth child I felt the time was right, so I set about helping someone else."

She is pregnant as a surrogate mother for the third time, and maintains her rule of staying close to the families she is helping:

"To help somebody and never see the child again is just unthinkable.

"We become lifelong friends - my surrogate is Godmother to one of my children."

She also runs the enquiry line for Surrogacy UK - she says there is no financial motive for anyone to become a surrogate mother in this county, as the mother can only receive expenses:

"I get phone calls from surrogates all the time - for the vast majority, money isn't mentioned, but occasionally people ask if they can get paid for it - well, really they ought to do something more worthwhile with their life."

She says that her own children are aware of what she's doing and are very supportive:

"When I was pregnant the first time my eldest was so proud that she told the teacher 'My Mum is helping another lady have a baby.' - she was so proud of it."

news.bbc.co.uk